Our thoughts, our words, our actions…
These are all choices.
They are all powerful and what we choose to do or say, aligns us with more things that take us in that direction.
When we spend time with certain people, we tend to take on their values and their opinions.
It can go into more depth than that. We can literally take on other peoples lives, by spending so much time with them and neglecting our own life.
Do you ever find yourself doing this? Do you find your self hanging out with people and disregarding yourself and your needs?
This can even happen in relationships. We can go from one person to another, or a long relationship that is spent taking care off the other person and it doesn’t ever seem like you get to get around to you taking care of yourself.
How do you want to feel?
How do you want to use your time and energy?
What is it that you want to do with your life?
Nature shows us some of this… The way the seasons change, never stopping for anything. We watch as colors fade for winter or flowers bloom in the spring. They don’t take on too much at once, or add on extra things to their already big process of changing. We never see grass trying to become pink, to fit in with the cherry blossoms. We don’t see dandelions holding a branch, for a tree while it takes its time to grow. Each part of nature is connected, yet separate. It all works together by working on each part of itself, individually, yet all at once.
We can give and receive love in a healthy way, with boundaries.
We can spend time with people, have spouses and partners and still take care of our own lives.
We don’t need to take on other people life paths or jobs.
We are here to do one thing, and that is to be true to ourselves and our own life path.
We don’t need to bend over backwards for other people, if it isn’t going to be safe or right for us.
We don’t have to do anything that isn’t good for us or our life experience.
I’m sure it sounds off, a dandelion holding a branch, that just kind of came out of nowhere, but really, how often do you find yourself doing things for other people, trying to be nice and helpful, but really it is just taking you away from doing what you should be doing, for your own life… That kind of weight, like a dandelion holding a branch, just unnecessary.
Pull away from people who don’t respect your time and space.
Pull away from people who don’t value you, even when you need to take time outs for yourself and your life.
How often do you take on tasks or except requests that you really should say no to, all because you don’t know how to value your own needs?
So much of the time, we can think that we need to be that helpful person. Always sayin yes, always planning the parties, hosting events, going to all the things and also juggling lord knows what else. You cannot survive on ashes… When you are burning the candle at both ends, you are not giving yourself time or space to rest and recharge.
You need rest.
You need time to breathe.
Your time and peace are important, but do you find them to be?
Are you living in a way that is allowing more peace or are you allowing more of what is draining you?
You are a valuable asset to your life and how you spend your time and energy are very important, in that regard.
I know it’s not easy. We think we have to be supporters for everyone else’s dreams or goals and whatever else. Then we take it a step further and totally disregard our feelings or what is good for us, or important to us, just so we can be there for everyone else.
This brings me pain to even think about, because I understand it so well, having lived so much of my life, in the driver seat of this kind of existence.
Forgetting how to set boundaries, or just not knowing how to do so.
Jump into the idea of valuing yourself, your time and your energy. Feel it, deep in your soul. Smell it, like a fresh breeze. Get to know it, like its your best friend. Understand the importance of it. Oh yes, there it is. There you are. I knew we could find you… You were hiding there, behind everyone else, not knowing how to be seem or heard.
I see you trying to grow…
Trying to understand how to value yourself…
How to improve your life and find your self-worth…
You are removing what is no longer right for you and your life.
You are seeing that being overly busy and overstretched is not necessary.
You are chiseling away at the exterior and getting deeper into what is most important.
You.
You are what is most important.
You are starting to see that you matter most.
You are the only one who is with you forever.
You are the only one in control of your life.
You are seeing that you have value.
Yet, here we go…. back to remembering this life and where we are currently at…
It doesn’t feel good.
Forgetting about what you wanted to do with your life.
Forgetting to do all those things you promised yourself that you would do or would not do.
How do you value yourself when you are constantly adding more weight to the load on your back?
When do you do the things that make you feel inspired, and happy to be alive?
How are you respecting yourself and showing yourself and others that you matter?
When you are constantly putting your own needs last, you are showing others that is how they should also treat you.
Lighten your load and remove the weight of expecting so much from yourself, at every waking hour of the day.
You can take time for yourself and give yourself a break.
You are more than a busy task list checker that must complete all the things…
What is left at the end of the day?
A tired, burdened, overworked, drained from life, vessel with a soul that desires to be elevated… Yet you put off all the things that you want to do, because you think that it’s okay. You tell yourself you can do it next week, or next month, or maybe next year, if you ever do it at all. You could run out of time before you make it that far.
You are worthy of a life that has more than just a few hours of rest, if you even give yourself that.
You are worth more than the cheap foods and bottom shelf booze or that low-vibe friend or partner that drains the rest of your energy.
Show them the door, or teach them how to treat you with respect by showing yourself more love and respect.
I remember when I was surrounded by friends, who I thought were there for me, but they were helping me stay down, stuck in a darkness and lost in a crowd of energy vampires. I allowed so much into my life that wasn’t right for me and it kept me from feeling good about myself. That feeling has taken so long to work through. It has taken so many years, so much time and quite a lot of work to learn that I was worth more than the lost cause that I thought that I was.
When we learn to stop doing what others want us to do, we start doing what we want to do.
We start to learn that we are capable of being alone and being content with that.
We learn that we can have our own opinions and not one afraid to be honest about them.
We learn that we can say no to anyone; our spouses, our kids, our parents, best friends, even to strangers.
We can say yes to ourselves and what we want to do with our time and energy.
When we aren’t valuing ourselves, we are allowing others to also devalue us, and I will repeat that as many times as I see fit, to help it get burned into your brain, as well as into mine.
When you take away the clutter, you find yourself. Clutter can be people, physical things, thoughts, whatever is not helping you rise up to your full potential.
When you remove the unnecessary tasks, too full schedules, too many meet ups, giving your energy away instead of taking time to take care of you, you find yourself. You start spending time on what is important to you, and you can start to feel better.
People pleasers…
How often do you go out or say yes to things so you don’t hurt someone else’s feelings?
How does that make you feel afterwards? Did you regret it or have to put things off that you really needed or wanted to do, because you were too concerned about someone else’s feelings?
Here, real quick… You do not need to do anything that you don’t want to do. If you don’t want to do something, do not do it.
The.
End.
How often do you choose to please someone, out of fear of them feeling bad, even though it doesn’t make you feel good? This is really a sick cycle that I am working through, myself.
Stop.
People.
Pleasing.
For the life you desire is waiting for you and you will not get there if you are serving silver platters of everyone else’s choosing. You are literally dishing up yourself on that platter. Everyone is getting a delicious piece of you except for you…
You are the one living your life.
When you are living your life, you should be living it for you, and yourself, not for anyone else.
If you have kids, they also have to let you take the wheel and drive. Are you going to be pulling over to let them get out and have a break just because they are tired of sitting when you are just driving to the storer? That is basically what you are doing when you are letting other peoples feelings dictate your life.
Who is that helping?
Not you, and it is not teaching them anything good either.
We are all teachers for one another. What we do, how we behave, the choices we make, they all matter.
Who are you?
What do you want out of this life?
If you have dreams or goals that you are pursuing, when do you make time for them?
Do you put your needs at the top or the bottom of all your task lists?
Why are you avoiding yourself?
Why are you sabotaging yourself and your life, for these people or these bosses who don’t want what is best for you?
When is enough, enough?
Honestly, you are not alone in this. I am still, also learning how to pull away from so much of this. If you knew the things that I have (even recently) done, out of fear of not making someone else uncomfortable, you would have that cartoon eye bulge going on right now. We are all human, yet we are so much more than that.
We are strong.
We are worthy of good things.
We are worthy of healthy boundaries.
We are worthy of love.
We are worthy of self-love.
We are worthy of respect.
We are also worthy of self-respect.
We are worthy of peace.
We are worthy of whatever it is we feel we need to do to be happy and enjoy this life.
It’s not too late to start taking that control back and looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, “Oh hi, it’s nice to meet you, I’m sorry for forgetting that you exist. Let’s go and live this life in a way that will make other people remember that we are also here and have our own needs, feelings and aspirations.” You can do so much more than you realize, when you are living your life with your feelings in mind.
This is your life and you deserve to live it in a way that makes you feel grateful to be alive.
How would you like to wake up and be able to experience another day with joy and gratitude for this life? Because if you haven’t been living for you, you might be struggling to want to continue on, or it just might be a bit of a struggle to keep getting out of bed, each day. Once you start living in a way that is more for you, you will see the beauty you have been missing out on. Life gets better.
Find yourself and your determination to simplify your life and get rid of that clutter.
A blade of grass is just as beautiful and important as a cherry blossom and as a dandelion is full of so many healing benefits, it does not need to carry a brand for any tree… You are perfect as you are and you don’t need to carry anyone else’s weight for them. Be strong in who you are and remember why you are here.
I appreciate you.
Thank you for being here and for choosing this life.
Thank you, also, for being you.
You are worthwhile.
You are loved.
-M.
Healing Creations PNW 