Falling Apart

Sometimes you have to let yourself fall apart.

Let your soul crack open and fall all over the place.

Let it be.

Don’t try to fix it all.

Don’t try to put yourself back together right away.

Just be cracked apart.

Open like broken skin.

Feelings pulsating like a racing heartbeat.

Exhausted and lost with no idea where you even want to try to step.

Not even sure if you’re ready to move forward with anything at all.

Just be broken and completely fallen apart.

Then little by little, you’ll find all the pieces that you want to keep and put them back together.

You’ll reach out for your missing parts and collect them all, deciding what’s no longer for you, and what is still for you.

And in the slowest, most delicate way, you will piece yourself back together again.

You will be whole.

Not the same as you were.

A better version, without the parts that were holding you down, and holding you back.

Rewrite your story.

Rewrite your life.

Put yourself back together and remember you are perfectly imperfect.

You are your own best project.

You are your own best masterpiece.

Never forget.

And that light at the end of the road will always be waiting for you.

Even if you need to sit in the middle of the road with your arms crossed, your eyebrows furrowed, saying “f*** off you too da*mn bright light, don’t tell me what to do or where to go. I’ll do what I want, when I want to do it.”

We will make our way.

We will walk our path.

Or we will sit.

We will walk when we are ready.

We will do it in our own time, in our own way, when we feel ready.

Now go and be you, and don’t let anyone tell you how to be you or how to live your life, not even me in these poetic ways.

You do you.

And if any of this triggers you, ignore it and block me, and I’ll be okay with that.

You mattter.

You are important.

Your feelings are #1.

With love,
Monica

A Journey Persisted

For as long as she could remember, she knew there would be something special for her…

For as long as she could remember, she knew she could never give up on believing in herself….

As the years went by, she continued to fall and then crawl through life’s challenges,

Until one day she remembered she could walk.

Then she quickly started to run.

She began sprinting, jumping and then finally she flew.

When she discovered her wings, she learned to float over those who didn’t believe in her or see her for who she was.

She didn’t worry about being alone, for she was always surrounded by so many who saw her for who she was and loved her no matter what, even through months and years of silence.

Whooshing through trees, flying beside mountain tops, she soared high above the clouds.

She flew up to the stars and zoomed back down, reaching the oceans and diving in like a sea creature, moving through the waters with great force.

Back to the surface, letting the air dry her off, she would then find a safe place to land.

Not for long though, as she found her place to be in the sky.

She knew she wasn’t like many others.

She knew she was made differently and created on purpose, for a purpose that was all her own.

Only she could know what that was, and what she was here for.

Though all the pieces may not make sense to others, she knew each one was meant for her, even the pieces that didn’t fit into the whole picture.

One day, maybe far off down the road, she would tell her story.

But for now, she will just continue to fly, soaring on her own, gliding from tree to tree, taking breaks on the mountain tops…

Solitude, this is her happy place.

At last, she knew, her purpose was there all along.

To be continued….

🤍

– M.

Thank you for Being Here

Sitting on the Edge

I was sitting on the edge of the wall of life.

One side was light.

The other side, dark.

The front edge was foggy, and it was the most inviting side of all.

Looking into the unknown, not sure which direction to choose. Feeling this pull, drawn to fall back into memories that make me feel the darkness might be my fate.

The light is so pure and so overwhelming. It gave me warmth and love, yet seemed to expect so much from me.

Oh the fog… cool, creamy and unknowing of what could come. No expectations, only what is coming from my mind.

Lastly, the wall… walking backwards, just to stay safe, felt comforting.

Moss growing along the cracks. Light shining on one side, warming the stones. The darkness and the fog cooling them off while I sat and thought about which way to go.

To go backwards, to stay on the wall probably, would not be allowed. Though, I don’t think I could anyways. I had been walking on this wall for so long, settled in so comfortably between the light and the dark, with the unknown fog always ahead of me.

How do you choose?

We always have so many options. Sometimes we think too much and make it more of a challenge than it really is.

Shifting through this life, finding a way to make a progress in “the right” direction.

What really is the best direction?

Is there really one direction that is better than another?

Finding peace, learning lessons, in all experiences, is the way we can make peace within ourselves about whichever directions we go. Letting go of pressure or judgement of ourselves and of others. It is all just lessons in love and healing.

A bellowing fog crept up to my face, like it was examining me, just as I was examining all of my options.

The sweet smell of the moisture in the air pulled me in.

I fell forward.

Knowing it would be the balance and the trust that I was truly seeking.

We can’t always know what is to come, but we must do what we can to follow our own path and the directions we feel are best for our experience.

Let go of that insistent control of wanting to know all the outcomes.

Life is for living and experiencing.

Find your truth.

Be you.

For you.

You matter.

Let go.

-M.