Falling Apart

Sometimes you have to let yourself fall apart.

Let your soul crack open and fall all over the place.

Let it be.

Don’t try to fix it all.

Don’t try to put yourself back together right away.

Just be cracked apart.

Open like broken skin.

Feelings pulsating like a racing heartbeat.

Exhausted and lost with no idea where you even want to try to step.

Not even sure if you’re ready to move forward with anything at all.

Just be broken and completely fallen apart.

Then little by little, you’ll find all the pieces that you want to keep and put them back together.

You’ll reach out for your missing parts and collect them all, deciding what’s no longer for you, and what is still for you.

And in the slowest, most delicate way, you will piece yourself back together again.

You will be whole.

Not the same as you were.

A better version, without the parts that were holding you down, and holding you back.

Rewrite your story.

Rewrite your life.

Put yourself back together and remember you are perfectly imperfect.

You are your own best project.

You are your own best masterpiece.

Never forget.

And that light at the end of the road will always be waiting for you.

Even if you need to sit in the middle of the road with your arms crossed, your eyebrows furrowed, saying “f*** off you too da*mn bright light, don’t tell me what to do or where to go. I’ll do what I want, when I want to do it.”

We will make our way.

We will walk our path.

Or we will sit.

We will walk when we are ready.

We will do it in our own time, in our own way, when we feel ready.

Now go and be you, and don’t let anyone tell you how to be you or how to live your life, not even me in these poetic ways.

You do you.

And if any of this triggers you, ignore it and block me, and I’ll be okay with that.

You mattter.

You are important.

Your feelings are #1.

With love,
Monica

You Live your Truth

Fear and Darkness

There is this fatal connection between fears and getting lost in the sinking darkness. A feeling of being lost in another world, one of which is in the mind. Finding this secret hole, that takes you into a dudgeon, can be daunting. Worrying about things, fearing what could happen or what is coming, so many things can take us under.

When we overthink, over worry, and forget to trust and live in the present, we are lead into this place, a dungeon that guides us towards a spiral staircase, traveling lower and lower into an unknown oblivion, making it difficult to see anything good or worthwhile.

You can get lost in it.

You can carry others with you as you travel on, further down into this unknown.

It can last for what seems like an eternity.

Sometimes you get glimpses of the daylight or can see more than just the overwhelming darkness, but it is not always easy.

For many, this is what takes them to some really dark places, giving into things that are not always best. Even if it is just more thoughts that are unwelcome.

For others, it doesn’t last so long, and they can find their way back out, rather quickly.

Though, for many, it can take much longer.

Some live in this darkness, lost without even trying to leave it.

There are a few who have this deep, pulling, or longing, to understand the reason for this darkness.

It can be a constant back and forth, struggling with what is real and what is just coming from the mind that likes to be in control.

We have so much to focus on. When we begin to see fears taking us down, into this tunnel, it is important to remember it is not real. We can let go of fear. We can accept the unknown. We can move into the darkness to understand it, without fear, but more so to understand how it can allow us to prepare for things and find a balnce.

There will always be darkness. There will always be fear and the unknown. Don’t let it suck you in, for too long. Always know that you have the power, and the strength to pull back out of it.

You are not alone.

-M.