Falling Apart

Sometimes you have to let yourself fall apart.

Let your soul crack open and fall all over the place.

Let it be.

Don’t try to fix it all.

Don’t try to put yourself back together right away.

Just be cracked apart.

Open like broken skin.

Feelings pulsating like a racing heartbeat.

Exhausted and lost with no idea where you even want to try to step.

Not even sure if you’re ready to move forward with anything at all.

Just be broken and completely fallen apart.

Then little by little, you’ll find all the pieces that you want to keep and put them back together.

You’ll reach out for your missing parts and collect them all, deciding what’s no longer for you, and what is still for you.

And in the slowest, most delicate way, you will piece yourself back together again.

You will be whole.

Not the same as you were.

A better version, without the parts that were holding you down, and holding you back.

Rewrite your story.

Rewrite your life.

Put yourself back together and remember you are perfectly imperfect.

You are your own best project.

You are your own best masterpiece.

Never forget.

And that light at the end of the road will always be waiting for you.

Even if you need to sit in the middle of the road with your arms crossed, your eyebrows furrowed, saying “f*** off you too da*mn bright light, don’t tell me what to do or where to go. I’ll do what I want, when I want to do it.”

We will make our way.

We will walk our path.

Or we will sit.

We will walk when we are ready.

We will do it in our own time, in our own way, when we feel ready.

Now go and be you, and don’t let anyone tell you how to be you or how to live your life, not even me in these poetic ways.

You do you.

And if any of this triggers you, ignore it and block me, and I’ll be okay with that.

You mattter.

You are important.

Your feelings are #1.

With love,
Monica

Roadblocks

Big Brother

You are so kind, so sweet, so loving and so very caring.

Whoever knows you, knows that this is true.

Big brother, Noah, you are so wonderful, always there with a helping hand.

What is it about you that makes you so kind?

Maybe its all the giving that you do, the sweet texts or the time you spend helping out those around you who need a helping hand.

When we were growing up, you were always there, for Erich and for me.

You were also teaching us, by example, about kindness and responsibility.

We may have had some disagreements, but you were the sweetest, even back then.

Now we are older and here you are still, always lending a hand or asking if the kids and I are alright.

Noah, thank you.

Thank you for being so nice, for caring, for helping and for showing others how to be kind.

Thank you for being so good at being my big brother and for wanting to always be sure those around you are alright.

I love you.

-M.