Promises

Posted on by Healing Creations PNW

Promises….

Making promises of the future, when you don’t even want her in the present.

Creating plans for vacations, when you won’t even settle for a simple dinner tab.

Saying things on repeat, that just hurt her and make her feel so small.

Not good enough,
Not enough…

How dare you just play that game of push and pull when you know she is hurting so deeply already…

You care about her feelings?
You care about her emotions?

Then why did you touch her?

Why did you pull her down from that shelf she was resting on?

If only to test her out….
If only to try and get a taste…
If only to prove you still had it…

Let her go.
You did enough.

She is not for you.

She is a porcelain doll and porcelain is not meant for your kind…

The ones who open up the package and don’t put them away…

The ones who want to sit around and make empty promises…

Leaving her feeling all sorts of confusion, just making her run away.

How dare you,
Playing the fools game.

Feels very familiar.

Thank goodness she knew better.

⁃ M.

The Sound of the Storm

Posted on by Healing Creations PNW

The Sound of The Storm

On the harder days, I remember this day.

It reminds me of what I have gotten through.

Feeling the storms of my emotions, while getting my picture taken, not knowing what would come after.

Already working on dealing with so much trauma, and trying to survive, trying to keep my kids safe, though, it felt like there was danger coming.

Feelings erupting inside of me.

Feeling in a place of uncertainty, just as we tend to be, when in the middle of a storm.

After this shoot, I went for my daily walk and found my daughter was missing.

She was not where she was supposed to be, and when she knew I knew, she made it so I couldn’t call or text her.

It was a long weekend, trying to find her and get her home.

These are not stories I typically share on here, due to not wanting to over share, but sometimes I just need to release, for the healing, and to maybe help someone else.

Twenty six hours of not knowing where my daughter was, or if she would come home.

Twenty six hours of being in panic for her life and her wellbeing.

She finally returned home, and she was safe.

One more scar on my heart.

One more memory to remember how much I love her.

One more reason to show her more sensitivity and compassion.

This shoot really ended up representing more than Marina Shipova or I could have even imagined.

Life is always full of uncertainty.

We just have to muster the courage to keep going.

One step at a time.

One day at a time.

One moment at a time.

Find your peace.

Find your balance.

Find your strength.

You are capable of more than you know.

❤️‍🩹

.

.

.

strength #storm #parenting #life #stormsoflife #teens #love #herenow #itwillbeokay #youaresafe #modeling #magazine #photoshoot #lifeisprecious #youareatrongerthanyouthink

Darkness Tried to End this Life

Posted on by Healing Creations PNW

Memories come up from times when life felt so close to the edge.

Life seemed like something so close to the end.

A mind so cluttered, so filled with fear.

A body so riddled with substances and unbalanced from the chase of night and day.

Thoughts fading away, worries taking over, friends with two faces taking up too much space.

There were times of silence towards the ones who were closest.

There were moments of sadness that lasted for days.

Yet, beyond the darkness, through the silence, there still seemed to be some light.

Falling away…

Falling under…

Never too deep, but just deep enough.

Finally one day, tired of suffering…

A reach up, a crawl, a walk and a run, back to life.

Back to peace.

Yet, never truly to feel without the darkness.

A darkness that had the deep calls for the ending.

Though, the darkness is not meant to call upon us all.

Some must just taste it, to see why we must turn away.

Back to the light.

In the light we must stay, but never to forget the bite of darkness that will never fully go away.

  • M.

Keep Pushing

Posted on by Healing Creations PNW

I almost backed out.

I almost gave up.

This quarter was really tough, in so many ways.

I’m so glad I didn’t give up.

I’m so glad I believed in myself and had a supportive group of people to help me get through.

There were some really dark days that I didn’t think I would survive.

There were some days that I felt would be my last.

But there was more reason to keep going than to let it be the end.

When we are faced with challenges, it can be extremely hard to fight through them to see the light.

Always find a reason to continue to push to see the light.

Life is worth living, even on the darkest and most painful day.

It is always worth living.

There is so much more beauty to see and experience beyond the challenges that seem to big to see beyond.

Everything is temporary.

Just keep going.

  • M.

The Bridges of Life

Posted on by Healing Creations PNW

There is magic in the journey.

We see where we want to be and we must let go of worrying how we will get there.

The bridges of life are not always for us to build, but they are a gift that we are guided to, that allow us to move from one chapter to the next.

We must not worry about how we will get to the next destination, we must only focus on visualizing where we want to go.

The journey is full of possibilities…

Remember to dream big, trust the process and have as much fun with it all as you possibly can.

-M.

A Journey Persisted

Posted on by Healing Creations PNW

For as long as she could remember, she knew there would be something special for her…

For as long as she could remember, she knew she could never give up on believing in herself….

As the years went by, she continued to fall and then crawl through life’s challenges,

Until one day she remembered she could walk.

Then she quickly started to run.

She began sprinting, jumping and then finally she flew.

When she discovered her wings, she learned to float over those who didn’t believe in her or see her for who she was.

She didn’t worry about being alone, for she was always surrounded by so many who saw her for who she was and loved her no matter what, even through months and years of silence.

Whooshing through trees, flying beside mountain tops, she soared high above the clouds.

She flew up to the stars and zoomed back down, reaching the oceans and diving in like a sea creature, moving through the waters with great force.

Back to the surface, letting the air dry her off, she would then find a safe place to land.

Not for long though, as she found her place to be in the sky.

She knew she wasn’t like many others.

She knew she was made differently and created on purpose, for a purpose that was all her own.

Only she could know what that was, and what she was here for.

Though all the pieces may not make sense to others, she knew each one was meant for her, even the pieces that didn’t fit into the whole picture.

One day, maybe far off down the road, she would tell her story.

But for now, she will just continue to fly, soaring on her own, gliding from tree to tree, taking breaks on the mountain tops…

Solitude, this is her happy place.

At last, she knew, her purpose was there all along.

To be continued….

🤍

– M.

Grow

Posted on by Healing Creations PNW

Let it be,

There is no force necessary.

Let it be,

The best direction is the one of the wind.

Let it go,

For each day we must allow the day to flow.

Let it go,

For in all things, the best thing is to set all worries free.

Grow,

Just as the trees must reach the sky,

Grow,

You will find your way.

In the end,

The best thing you will have ever done was to let it be, let it go and to grow.

Life has a way of guiding us down the path.

We must learn to be careful of what we carry with us.

Not everything (or everyone) is worthwhile of our precious energy.

– M.

Healing Journey

Posted on by Healing Creations PNW

Sending pictures,

Sending texts,

Looking for love,

Looking for validation.

Trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations.

Hoping for love.

Looking for acceptance.

What is this life without outside validation.

Here me out.

Here me now.

See me fully.

See me wholly.

I am lost.

I am naked.

I am broken.

I am aching.

Cure me.

Fix me.

Heal me quickly.

The pains of this torture are slowly killing me.

Let me be.

Let me grow.

The only way is for me to be alone.

Find me lost.

Find me sad.

Leave me broken,

Leave me be.

I am healing,

I am picking up the scattered pieces of what’s left of me.

-M.

Make Each Moment Count

Posted on by Healing Creations PNW
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Make Each Moment Count

Love and Relationships

Posted on by Healing Creations PNW

Why do we think love from another will satisfy us and solve our problems?

For too long I have thought this.

Find a mate, “the one”, and all will be fixed.

Walking a way from dating was the best fixer of my many of my problems.

Instead I took time to learn to go within.

Learning to love myself.

Learning to focus on my growth and my path was the best choice for my life.

Not everyone is meant for someone.

Not everyone wants to be in a relationship or have all that comes with having a mate.

Some of us need this lifetime to heal and grow and find peace in solitude.

When you learn to look within and seek out what is truly right for you, you can stop spending your energy on what is not allowing you to truly heal.

Direct your focus.

Allow your truth to come out.

Only you know what is right and best for you.

Only you can make the choices that fit with your life and your needs.

🌸

  • Single by choice, for my highest good. Self-care, self-growth, focused on my purpose and on my path. And Grateful for that.

🌸

– M.