Let your soul crack open and fall all over the place.
Let it be.
Don’t try to fix it all.
Don’t try to put yourself back together right away.
Just be cracked apart.
Open like broken skin.
Feelings pulsating like a racing heartbeat.
Exhausted and lost with no idea where you even want to try to step.
Not even sure if you’re ready to move forward with anything at all.
Just be broken and completely fallen apart.
Then little by little, you’ll find all the pieces that you want to keep and put them back together.
You’ll reach out for your missing parts and collect them all, deciding what’s no longer for you, and what is still for you.
And in the slowest, most delicate way, you will piece yourself back together again.
You will be whole.
Not the same as you were.
A better version, without the parts that were holding you down, and holding you back.
Rewrite your story.
Rewrite your life.
Put yourself back together and remember you are perfectly imperfect.
You are your own best project.
You are your own best masterpiece.
Never forget.
And that light at the end of the road will always be waiting for you.
Even if you need to sit in the middle of the road with your arms crossed, your eyebrows furrowed, saying “f*** off you too da*mn bright light, don’t tell me what to do or where to go. I’ll do what I want, when I want to do it.”
We will make our way.
We will walk our path.
Or we will sit.
We will walk when we are ready.
We will do it in our own time, in our own way, when we feel ready.
Now go and be you, and don’t let anyone tell you how to be you or how to live your life, not even me in these poetic ways.
You do you.
And if any of this triggers you, ignore it and block me, and I’ll be okay with that.
Deeply rooted in how you value yourself in all the ways.
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We can find ourselves getting lost in taking care of other people, neglecting our own needs.
Work, family, friends, partners, life can take over our minds and take up our mental to do list.
We can give and give and give, but forget how we also need to receive.
We don’t necessarily need to receive from others, but we do need to receive from ourselves.
Remember to fill your own cup before filling another’s.
When you wake up, check in with yourself.
Before you go to bed, check in with yourself.
Throughout the day we can be so busy, but it’s important to remember to take time to come back to your own body, your own feelings and take a mental note on how you are feeling.
Become deeply rooted in yourself.
This life is full of distractions, but when we can remember that our needs are also important, we can find more grounding and peace.
Sometimes we wonder why we are unhappy with ourselves.
So we look back over the years to see what’s created this.
We see our friendships and relationships, or the choices we have made.
We start looking over how some people have treated us, and how we have allowed a lot of unkindness to step over the doorstep of our soul’s experience, and right into our circle of peace.
People will show you who they are.
They will literally tell you.
Sometimes in words, but other times with their actions.
It can takes years to really see who they really were.
It can also take years to see your own self.
Learning to have more kind friendships takes a lot of self-love.
It takes determination and commitment to self.
Learning that you deserve to be around people who lift you up, rather than put you down, seems like it is common sense.
Yet, sometimes we don’t realize these people are putting us down, until we take time away from everyone so we can look back and process over it all.
Looking over what people have said to us, how we feel when we are around them, and the choices we make when we are with them, are all key signs to pay attention to.
Having been through many layers of my own healing, I am really starting to learn how I FEEL matters.
Listening to my body, to my energy, to my spirit with so many different aspects of life, is beginning to make more and more sense for so many different reasons.
Feeling the storms of my emotions, while getting my picture taken, not knowing what would come after.
Already working on dealing with so much trauma, and trying to survive, trying to keep my kids safe, though, it felt like there was danger coming.
Feelings erupting inside of me.
Feeling in a place of uncertainty, just as we tend to be, when in the middle of a storm.
After this shoot, I went for my daily walk and found my daughter was missing.
She was not where she was supposed to be, and when she knew I knew, she made it so I couldn’t call or text her.
It was a long weekend, trying to find her and get her home.
These are not stories I typically share on here, due to not wanting to over share, but sometimes I just need to release, for the healing, and to maybe help someone else.
Twenty six hours of not knowing where my daughter was, or if she would come home.
Twenty six hours of being in panic for her life and her wellbeing.
She finally returned home, and she was safe.
One more scar on my heart.
One more memory to remember how much I love her.
One more reason to show her more sensitivity and compassion.
This shoot really ended up representing more than Marina Shipova or I could have even imagined.
Healing Creations PNW 