Writing in my journal, responding to text messages, going over conversations from recent exchanges, I notice certain things I’d like to start paying more attention to. One thing is the stories I keep retelling, and how I communicate, in general.
A perspective, a point of view, an opinion… Each one very important, yet also, at times, not fully thought through, in a way to convey clearly, or fully, or maybe even appropriately.
We put so much energy into things. Yet, are these things that are worthwhile of so much of our energy? Are we really being true to ourselves or are we saying things we think other people may expect for us to say or want us to say?
What is it that we are seeking out of life? And how to our words and thoughts reflect those goals?
For as long as she could remember, she knew there would be something special for her…
For as long as she could remember, she knew she could never give up on believing in herself….
As the years went by, she continued to fall and then crawl through life’s challenges,
Until one day she remembered she could walk.
Then she quickly started to run.
She began sprinting, jumping and then finally she flew.
When she discovered her wings, she learned to float over those who didn’t believe in her or see her for who she was.
She didn’t worry about being alone, for she was always surrounded by so many who saw her for who she was and loved her no matter what, even through months and years of silence.
Whooshing through trees, flying beside mountain tops, she soared high above the clouds.
She flew up to the stars and zoomed back down, reaching the oceans and diving in like a sea creature, moving through the waters with great force.
Back to the surface, letting the air dry her off, she would then find a safe place to land.
Not for long though, as she found her place to be in the sky.
She knew she wasn’t like many others.
She knew she was made differently and created on purpose, for a purpose that was all her own.
Only she could know what that was, and what she was here for.
Though all the pieces may not make sense to others, she knew each one was meant for her, even the pieces that didn’t fit into the whole picture.
One day, maybe far off down the road, she would tell her story.
But for now, she will just continue to fly, soaring on her own, gliding from tree to tree, taking breaks on the mountain tops…
Solitude, this is her happy place.
At last, she knew, her purpose was there all along.
One of the most challenging parts of life can be emotions.
Feeling an overwhelming amount of grief, a longing for what could have been…
A desire to be somewhere else, or with a certain person, or whatever it may be…
In the moment, emotions can feel like gigantic waves, that are trying take you under.
A dangerous riptide in the currents of life…
How do you go on?
When will the suffering end?
Never stop feeling…
Allow each emotion to run its course.
Feel it, deeply, and understand it’s purpose is to move you.
It is guiding you on your journey.
It is even here to help you heal, to grow and to help you flourish.
We experience difficulties in order to help us with wherever we may be stuck in life.
Sometimes these experiences, as painful as they may be, happen to show us what could be… if we push ourselves out of our comfort zones and do things to help us move forward towards our goals.
They also occur in order to show us how strong we are, and how much we believe in our abilities to grow and change.
Sometimes we need these hard times to help us remember to focus inwards and to have self-control, as we are amidst a big life shift.
We cannot pretend to be robots, though the drug and alcohol industry want to help us numb away all the feelers, when nature has created us to be fully aware of ourselves and every feeling we have to feel.
Feel the feelings.
Feel the anger, the sadness, the sorrow.
Feel the pain, feel the loss, feel the loneliness and everything you feel scared to feel.
It will help you heal.
It will help you grow.
Numbing is like ignoring the sunlight that is here to feed your soul.
There is beauty in suffering, though, it isn’t always easy to see when you are in it.
Go through it then look back and see how strong and capable you are.
Through suffering, through pain, we grow.
There is peace on the other side.
There is healing, and there is beauty.
You will be okay.
Be present with your emotions and allow them to flow through you.
Today I may be exhausted, my eyes may have heavy bags, my adrenals might feel like cement blocks….
I have been pushing so hard.
Tutoring hours, multiples times a day, walking miles, upon miles each day, being there for my inner world needs, and my outer world needs, and for others…
This is my story.
This is my path.
As my kids tell me they love me and appreciate who I am and what I have done for them, and they see how I’ve pulled myself up from toxic relationships and many years of partying that could have resulted in my life ending…
Trying and trying to find my purpose in this life…
It is times like this that I must remind myself that I am strong.
I am capable.
Some might look at me and see my lack, or they might see me better than I see myself.
It doesn’t matter.
I am still learning to see myself through the lens of love, with taking massive steps in self-improvements and making sure I am taking time to nurture my soul.
With each breath I hope to share love and light.
With each action I hope to be kind and give gratitude for this life and the experiences within it.
With every use of my voice, I hope to express good and positive things about myself and others.
Thank you for seeing me.
Thank you for reading this and taking in all that I am and have been.
We have a perception of things, a way of understanding things in a certain way.
When we move away from that particular stream of thoughts we can learn to understand things in a different way.
As we move through life, some of us seek growth.
To grow, we must change the day to day, move our consciousness to different areas so we can learn to understand concepts in a different way.
This will change the way we process information, how we make decisions and how we react or even act.
Stagnant minds cannot grow.
Just like energy.
Thoughts get stuck going one way, when we have let them continue to build up momentum going down that stream of our minds.
We must move differently in order to move different muscles, so therefore we must be challenged in different ways to allow a different thought process to take place.
Getting comfortable with changes and with different challenges can allow for more peace of mind as we let go of certain patterns that we’re keeping us from even enjoying life more.
You make up the difference between your life in a state of peace or a state of discontent.
If you desire change, you must step out of that box and into the vast reality of immense possibilities there are all around you, every second of every day.
Healing Creations PNW 