poetry

Validation

How often do you look to outside sources to feel validated?

This is something I have touched on before, but it definitely feels necessary to discuss again, as I observe it so much, within myself and in others around me.

We want to feel good.

We want to feel accepted.

We want to feel as though we are good enough to be liked or sought after, by others.

Though, why do we go to such lengths as to step away from what is true to us in order to gain validation from others?

Do we even know why it is that we are seeking validation or acceptance from others?

It is a natural part of human nature to desire to be liked and to feel accepted. Though, so many go above and beyond the norms to try to get validated.

Now that we have social media and all these different forms of sharing ourselves, it’s a bigger issue than normal, to seek out validation.

Having followers or getting likes, it seems to be the new normal, yet is it really helping us?

Is it really helping you?

If you need to change your appearance to be accepted by someone, let them go.

If you feel the need to be a different way, that is not natural to your true self, in order to fit in with a group, let them go.

If you need to get on a dating site to feel good about yourself, maybe it’s time to do some self-love practice.

If you feel that you need to have surgery to feel accepted or loved by someone, it might be time to really do some deep inner work and healing, and find new people to be around.

Validation, love, acceptance, these things are all connected. Sometimes they can be confused or seen differently than they are.

So much of the time they can be disregarded, ignored, or even thought of as not necessary…

Yet look at our world.

You are special.

You are unique.

You are loved and accepted by so many, and you are exactly how you need to be, for your life purpose.

When you change yourself, you aren’t allowing yourself to be who you are meant to be.

When you change yourself, you aren’t allowing love in.

When you change yourself you are saying you are not good enough.

There are good changes that we can make.

Facing fears.

Healing from eating disorders.

Learning how to take better care of yourself and of others.

Some changes are necessary and helpful, but there are so many that can cause harm and pull you further away from what is actually really good for you.

Do you look at yourself in the mirror and feel happy?

Do you hear your voice on a voicemail or recording and feel uncomfortable with what you hear?

Do you know your worth, aside from financial gain?

Who are you, behind that mask of flesh and bones?

Who is the YOU deep inside, that inner being?

Do you feel worthwhile?

How do you treat yourself?

How do you show yourself love?

…feel this.

Take a minutes and breathe.

Breathe in through your nose.

Down to your belly.

Let your belly expand.

Let it out through your mouth.

REPEAT.

And again.

Now again.

However many times you feel you need to.

Get centered.

YOU

ARE

ENOUGH

everything in your life is for you.

everything is happening for you.

you are safe.

you are loved.

you are valued.

you are accepted.

Now let go of all this self-hate.

Let go of the need to feel or look like everyone else.

Let go of the need to please everyone else.

You are not supposed to do that.

Validation comes from within.

Love comes from within.

You are always accepted.

You are always loved.

You are doing a great job.

It’s time to learn how to love yourself, just as you are, for who you are.

You are perfect.

You are special.

You are unique.

You are loved.

Thank you for being here.

Now take care of yourself and love yourself so you can enjoy this beautiful life with so much more gratitude and peace.

⁃ M.