Darkness Tried to End this Life

Memories come up from times when life felt so close to the edge.

Life seemed like something so close to the end.

A mind so cluttered, so filled with fear.

A body so riddled with substances and unbalanced from the chase of night and day.

Thoughts fading away, worries taking over, friends with two faces taking up too much space.

There were times of silence towards the ones who were closest.

There were moments of sadness that lasted for days.

Yet, beyond the darkness, through the silence, there still seemed to be some light.

Falling away…

Falling under…

Never too deep, but just deep enough.

Finally one day, tired of suffering…

A reach up, a crawl, a walk and a run, back to life.

Back to peace.

Yet, never truly to feel without the darkness.

A darkness that had the deep calls for the ending.

Though, the darkness is not meant to call upon us all.

Some must just taste it, to see why we must turn away.

Back to the light.

In the light we must stay, but never to forget the bite of darkness that will never fully go away.

  • M.

Trust Yourself

Everyday we face challenges.

Everyday we are shown that we must choose.

Distractions or facing the truth.

You know what you need to do in order to be okay.

Trust yourself.

  • M.

Explore

Explore the world.

Explore yourself.

Do all the exploring.

For life is but a collection of moments, and

When you see how quickly time passes by,

You will wish you had spent more time exploring and enjoying all the beauties within this life.

You are worth the time.

⛴️

The Bridges of Life

There is magic in the journey.

We see where we want to be and we must let go of worrying how we will get there.

The bridges of life are not always for us to build, but they are a gift that we are guided to, that allow us to move from one chapter to the next.

We must not worry about how we will get to the next destination, we must only focus on visualizing where we want to go.

The journey is full of possibilities…

Remember to dream big, trust the process and have as much fun with it all as you possibly can.

-M.

A Journey Persisted

For as long as she could remember, she knew there would be something special for her…

For as long as she could remember, she knew she could never give up on believing in herself….

As the years went by, she continued to fall and then crawl through life’s challenges,

Until one day she remembered she could walk.

Then she quickly started to run.

She began sprinting, jumping and then finally she flew.

When she discovered her wings, she learned to float over those who didn’t believe in her or see her for who she was.

She didn’t worry about being alone, for she was always surrounded by so many who saw her for who she was and loved her no matter what, even through months and years of silence.

Whooshing through trees, flying beside mountain tops, she soared high above the clouds.

She flew up to the stars and zoomed back down, reaching the oceans and diving in like a sea creature, moving through the waters with great force.

Back to the surface, letting the air dry her off, she would then find a safe place to land.

Not for long though, as she found her place to be in the sky.

She knew she wasn’t like many others.

She knew she was made differently and created on purpose, for a purpose that was all her own.

Only she could know what that was, and what she was here for.

Though all the pieces may not make sense to others, she knew each one was meant for her, even the pieces that didn’t fit into the whole picture.

One day, maybe far off down the road, she would tell her story.

But for now, she will just continue to fly, soaring on her own, gliding from tree to tree, taking breaks on the mountain tops…

Solitude, this is her happy place.

At last, she knew, her purpose was there all along.

To be continued….

🤍

– M.

Remember

Fading

Who’s turn is it, mine or yours.

The colors are running dry, the brightness is fading fast.

Age is growing older, time is ticking by.

Who’s turn is it, mine or yours, is it time yet?

The time is ticking by.

Colors fade, time ticks away, and all we can do is keep on moving with each flow of the motions of life.

Each flow, each motion, each tick tock of the clock brings us closer to the other side.

For each new day, each new lesson, we each get to sit and wait…

We take turns experiencing lessons as we wait and wait for each new day to come and tick tock on by.

There is no time, really.

It is your turn, surely it is not mine.

Every day that passes, I have had experiences that have lasted me days upon days that I cannot even remember my first name.

They call you by your last name, leaving you to wonder who you even are anymore.

Let’s start writing, maybe keep track of things, so we can see where all of this waiting is leading us to.

The days tick on by, a wind blows, a hollow sound goes through one ear hole and out the other.

Is there even anything that comes after this?

Shall we sit here and wait until the last drop of color has faded away and the clock runs out of ticks and tocks?

I surely don’t even know when it was that I last ran through a field without a care.

It would be nice to eat without the fear of there being little left to eat upon the next morrow.

We shall sit and watch as the clock ticks away and the sun fades and makes its way below the horizon, leaving the twilight sky for us to rest upon.

As we lay awake in wonder, we may, oh we may, dream upon the twinkling sky, that we may awaken upon a new day with the brightest of colors.

Oh to heavens we may wish upon that we may awaken to plenty of food, and for all the clocks to have faded away so we may run into the field and pretend we have wings.

A day full of joy, full of wonder and plenty of laughter.

Upon this start I do wish.

Thank you, until we meet again.

– M.

Exist

In a day, so much can happen.

Slow down and listen to the sounds around you.

Shut off your thoughts and just allow the sounds to be your existence.

-M.

Love and Hate

You grew up in a world that was surrounded by confusion.

So many things seemed to be simple.

So many things seemed to be unobtainable.

You grew to think you understood love.

You grew to feel all too familiar with hate.

A mixed bag of things…

Hate vegetables, love video games.

Parents argued, hate your dad.

Love books, hate school.

So easy.

It’s all so normal.

Though, you felt lost and unsure, never really fitting in.

Seemed like life could be pretty easy, once you grew up to be over 18.

Yet, it didn’t get much better, more rules, less freedom.

You thought it might be different.

Thought it could be easier.

You wanted to grow up and be free, yet now you see it isn’t quite so easy.

What happened to all your dreams?

What happened to all those fancy things?

Didn’t you dream about becoming rich?

Didn’t you think it would be like the flip of a switch?

Wake up and you’re an adult, now the world will be yours to take…

Love and hate.

It’s a real battle.

Freedom and fate…

It’s like eating cake.

You don’t really know, until you grow up and find out…

That cake will now make you gain weight.

Now you also have to pay for that cake.

Then you have to run a mile, or two, to burn off that cake.

Being an adult, it’s not quite so easy, you see.

You thought you understood it all.

You thought you could live easily.

You thought life would be so simple.

Now you have to eat your vegetables and video games are a thing of the past.

Love and hate.

Now you know love is better, and hate is a waste of energy.

Being kind is a better use of your time, but it’s also overwhelming…

Being kind can make you seem weak.

Now you have to learn boundaries.

What even are boundaries and why are they a thing…

Let’s not even get into the complicated world of dating.

Men and women.

Men or women.

You really don’t even need any of that anymore.

It is really not an area you would enjoy to explore.

Time is ticking, and skin is wrinkling.

One day maybe there will be time to just exist.

No worries.

No fears.

No bills.

Not even a doctor promised happy pill.

Just a long moment to remember the freedom of being a child, without a worry about love or hate or anything other than… oh wait…

Let’s take a step back – it is not about love and hate.

It’s just about you.

You must accept your fate.

Dream big.

Find time to play.

Balance it all out.

Try not to stay up too late.

Life is what you make it.

Create it.

– M.

Find Validation Within

Validation

How often do you look to outside sources to feel validated?

This is something I have touched on before, but it definitely feels necessary to discuss again, as I observe it so much, within myself and in others around me.

We want to feel good.

We want to feel accepted.

We want to feel as though we are good enough to be liked or sought after, by others.

Though, why do we go to such lengths as to step away from what is true to us in order to gain validation from others?

Do we even know why it is that we are seeking validation or acceptance from others?

It is a natural part of human nature to desire to be liked and to feel accepted. Though, so many go above and beyond the norms to try to get validated.

Now that we have social media and all these different forms of sharing ourselves, it’s a bigger issue than normal, to seek out validation.

Having followers or getting likes, it seems to be the new normal, yet is it really helping us?

Is it really helping you?

If you need to change your appearance to be accepted by someone, let them go.

If you feel the need to be a different way, that is not natural to your true self, in order to fit in with a group, let them go.

If you need to get on a dating site to feel good about yourself, maybe it’s time to do some self-love practice.

If you feel that you need to have surgery to feel accepted or loved by someone, it might be time to really do some deep inner work and healing, and find new people to be around.

Validation, love, acceptance, these things are all connected. Sometimes they can be confused or seen differently than they are.

So much of the time they can be disregarded, ignored, or even thought of as not necessary…

Yet look at our world.

You are special.

You are unique.

You are loved and accepted by so many, and you are exactly how you need to be, for your life purpose.

When you change yourself, you aren’t allowing yourself to be who you are meant to be.

When you change yourself, you aren’t allowing love in.

When you change yourself you are saying you are not good enough.

There are good changes that we can make.

Facing fears.

Healing from eating disorders.

Learning how to take better care of yourself and of others.

Some changes are necessary and helpful, but there are so many that can cause harm and pull you further away from what is actually really good for you.

Do you look at yourself in the mirror and feel happy?

Do you hear your voice on a voicemail or recording and feel uncomfortable with what you hear?

Do you know your worth, aside from financial gain?

Who are you, behind that mask of flesh and bones?

Who is the YOU deep inside, that inner being?

Do you feel worthwhile?

How do you treat yourself?

How do you show yourself love?

…feel this.

Take a minutes and breathe.

Breathe in through your nose.

Down to your belly.

Let your belly expand.

Let it out through your mouth.

REPEAT.

And again.

Now again.

However many times you feel you need to.

Get centered.

YOU

ARE

ENOUGH

everything in your life is for you.

everything is happening for you.

you are safe.

you are loved.

you are valued.

you are accepted.

Now let go of all this self-hate.

Let go of the need to feel or look like everyone else.

Let go of the need to please everyone else.

You are not supposed to do that.

Validation comes from within.

Love comes from within.

You are always accepted.

You are always loved.

You are doing a great job.

It’s time to learn how to love yourself, just as you are, for who you are.

You are perfect.

You are special.

You are unique.

You are loved.

Thank you for being here.

Now take care of yourself and love yourself so you can enjoy this beautiful life with so much more gratitude and peace.

⁃ M.